Atrial Fib

Sometime, maybe I’ll write my whole heart story; but for now, the short story:
due to medication I was prescribed, I’ve had a heart condition for a little over a year now.

The further in time I got from the initial medication the better I was feeling, other issues cropped up from the underlying issue for which I had originally been prescribed the medicine at fault; but, in those areas too, progress was being made.

Unfortunately, the problems with my heart occurred in a cyclic, although predictable pattern. The cardiologist I had at the time was anything but helpful, he told me to carry Nitroglycerin until I was through menopause; and when I described other symptoms he told me I was an enigma. I got a new cardiologist.

The new cardiologist went through my medical history thoroughly, told me to throw away the Nitroglycerin as I have another condition (cardiologist #1 completely missed this, although aware of it from my chart) which combined with Nitroglycerin in extreme cases could be fatal and in most cases would make things worse; then put me on this 30 day event monitor.

Now, comes the part that is getting me upset, in turn setting off the monitor, and getting me upset again! I knew that I had been dealing with a lot of stress as:
* My father was being tested for prostate cancer
* My in-laws were going through MAJOR medical issues requiring surgery
* My father-in-law was laid off
* We had tornado warnings every week for a month straight (extreme weather
effects my 5 year old’s migraines in a negative fashion)
* Singular hit the news – which both my 12 and 5 year old were on (oldest has mild
asthma and would stop breathing at night due to allergies; youngest, allergies affect
his migraines in a negative fashion) and we noticed it was definitely effecting our 5 yr
old – not so much the 12 yr old but … took him off too just incase
But this stress caused me to have events outside of the now predictable cycle; I know it was stress related; because, if I forced myself to calm down they stopped, and once we made it through the bulk of the issues it was back to the old cycle. So, in my mind, I felt that now that I finally was being seen by a competent cardiologist, I really didn’t need him. When the 30 days was up, I’d go to his office and he’d say, “No worries, just learn to handle stress better.”

So, why am I up past 2:10 AM writing a blog entry? Because, the cardiologist office called and said I have Atrial Fibrillation and tomorrow I start medication with the possible side effects of: fatigue, nausea, constipation, headaches, ankle swelling, and loss of appetite. My spirit is crushed! I’m supposed to be better!

Plus, I feel a bit stupid. Out of all the times I’ve been calling the events in, only once did they say they needed to notify the doctor – for some reason I thought that meant I was wasting their time – not that they only notified the doctor in life threatening emergencies and the rest of the time just forwarded the scans for him to peruse at his leisure. I never dreamed that I wasn’t getting better; that there would be another issue, or that I might go back to having no energy and literally have to drag myself around again.

About, a year and a half ago when the initial issue was finally diagnosed (after gradually worsening over 12 years); I was so ecstatic, finally a diagnosis and it wasn’t insanity!

There was a reason my hair was falling out, I had no energy, I had problems remembering and focusing, when I caught a virus or flu it took me 2x as long to get better, and why I always felt sick.

I distinctly remember, the whole time I was undergoing tests, that through my tears, God gave me peace and told me, that in a year I’d be better. Now, a year and a half latter, it appeared to be being fulfilled.

Where is my promise from the Lord?

Pray for me, please: no side effects and that the joy of the Lord be restored to my soul.

PS: My mother prayed Proverbs 18:14 over me, and I know it is true; but, I can’t seem to shake this fear of the side effects – especially the fatigue and headaches.