Love Spice

When my youngest DS was born until his third birthday, we moved six times through three states. Although, he had his own room in each state he had been too young to remember them, and as far as he knew he had always shared a room (thus was the case whenever we were in temporary housing – as an infant he was with us, then his brother).

He was quite traumatized when he received his own room. He verbalized this by saying, “No one loves me!” When asked why he said such a thing, it was because no one slept with him at night. Nana and Poppop slept together (they were in our living room, having come down to help us move), Mommy and Daddy slept together, and now brother didn’t want to sleep with him.

Nothing verbal would reassure him. So I invented “Love Spice”. I purchased an empty spice jar (with a removable twist cap and a sprinkle lid – if you recycle a jar make sure it is a sweet spice like cinnamon as the scent never completely washes out); I had meant to decorate it and put “glitter hearts” inside; but never got a chance as our situation grew desperate.

At bed time, I introduced the “Love Spice” as I sprinkled it on his head, heart, legs and toes I said, “On your head so you know you’re loved, on your heart so you feel you’re loved, and all the way down to your toes.” Then we quickly put the lid on so none could escape and I said, “Now we hug and kiss it in.” The last part of course is smothered in kisses and an occasional tickle. It worked.

Later when my husband and I were to go on our first trip, leaving him and his brother safely in the care of their Grandmother, we reassured him that Grandma was fully instructed on how to “Love Spice Him” and we “filled” the bottle by placing it between us with the cap off and hugging each other and blowing kisses inside. We’ve since filled the jar as a whole family; which always results in hysterical laughter.

Now, that he is 5 we don’t use it that often. But the other night I said, “Where’s your ‘Love Spice’? (it had been used to specially season his imaginary restaurant food and not returned to his bed) Well, I guess you don’t really need it.” He piped up immediately, “Yes, I do!” Tonight, the “Love Spice” was back!

I share this idea for soldiers who are about to be deployed and may want to leave a jar with their children, or for far away grandparents who may want to send some “Love” to their grands, and for other parents like me who just want to add a little love to their own recipe of life.
What are some of your “Family Love” ingredients?